"The past is over"

I am having a really hard time even thinking about this affirmation, let alone writing about it. Perhaps because I pretty much live in the past?

I complain constantly about my present, yet as soon as it becomes my past, I want it back. I want to do it again, only this time I'll get it right. That neurotic nagger inside of me reminds me constantly that nothing I do is ever good enough. There's always somebody else doing it right, doing it better. And what a productive exercise to sit around and think about everything you messed up in the past. Not.

"We crucify ourselves on two crosses - regret for the past and fear of the future."  

So what's today? Chopped liver? 


I am actually having a really nice day, thank you very much. My son showed up for a surprise visit (that has only happened like one other time ever), I had the pleasure of making some yummy food for him, and we've been sitting at the kitchen table, hanging out on our laptops, looking out at a glorious sunny day. He even came to my rescue by corralling a stray lizard. (yikes!!) What could be better? So stop and feel it. Give yourself permission to feel good. 

So, kids, let's review what we've learned this week:


My healing is in process? Yes, I am seriously shocked at how therapeutic this blog has been, even after just 4 days. Crazy. 


I accept and approve of my uniqueness? Yes! I will stop beating myself up because I don't measure up to some mythical something. 


And the past? That's a hard one. I'm working on it.

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? -every, every minute?" -Thornton Wilder, "Our Town"