Hump Day

This week is hard. But I knew it was going to be. I have been sitting at my desk, spiraling into my thought pattern of why the hell am I here, I hate this work, I hate people, I hate every client (especially the ones who don't bring their stuff in til 3 days before the deadline), I hate myself, I'm fat and ugly, I'll be dead soon or at least in the Poor House. And why do I have a pain in my side?

Ok, rewind and reset and look at Louise's affirmation for today:

There is ample time and opportunity for creative expression in whatever area I choose.


Even in an area I don't feel that I chose? (which would be everything that I have pretty much ever done...) I think the answer is YES.


It's all about changing those pesky thought patterns. Hard, hard, hard. This thought pattern has been my identity for my entire life. But yes, I really do believe you can change it. I just have to want to. And to remember to! I can't give up.

I feel good about my food this week. In fact, today is the end of week one of my latest renewed relationship with food. I have been thinking of food as my worst enemy for the last three years. It just struck me, yes, just now, that it's not an enemy -- it's a tool! The tool I have been using to hurt myself in the way that I knew would hurt the most. And I am very good at it. :-)

As Louise says, "Try approving of yourself and see what happens."  (I approve of myself. I approve of myself.)

So maybe, for now, if food still has to be a tool, it can be a tool to make me feel more empowered. Or less controlled:

Eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full. And moving. It's really that simple.

Onward...