I am lucky. The only person I can think of in my life right now who doesn't love and accept me is me. What a wonderful world it would be if I changed that. I have the power; I could actually do it. I could have done it decades ago. What have I been waiting for?
Today on 'Rosie' they did that exercise of challenging everyone to say something they like about themselves. Very thought provoking. Isn't it sad that we feel we have to qualify or make an excuse for any compliment we give ourself? Like when Deirdre said she likes her skin because "everybody says" it's nice. Why do we give "everybody" so much power? What are we -- chopped liver? Apparently. Because why would we care about the opinion of somebody we are constantly beating up, criticizing, demeaning, putting down and degrading? So stop it already!
You are worth loving.
That was Louise's affirmation yesterday; short and sweet and succinct -- "I am worth loving." See how simple? Yesterday she told me that I am worth loving and presto -- today I dwell in a world of love and acceptance. Whoo hoo! I'm cured!
All smart-ass sarcasm aside, I actually have been approving of myself of late. But sometimes I forget. It helps so much to come here and think about it.
We rode our bikes in the Long Beach Marathon bike tour last Sunday and it could not have been more perfect. I am still feeling the high. I worried and stressed and freaked out a lot beforehand, about parking and logistics and waking up on time and on and on. About people laughing at me - the chubby old lady with the big ass who thinks she can ride a bike.
I think I am the only person in the history of cycling who bought a bike and rode almost 4,000 miles while gaining 40 pounds. UGH!!! But if I hadn't been cycling, I think I would have gained twice that. Seriously. My cycling pattern: burn 1,000 calories, eat 2,000! But I'm working on that. These last almost two weeks have been about listening to my body and nourishing it with healthy amounts of good food, instead of punishing it by stuffing anything down my throat that I can get my hands on. I am beginning to get little glimpses of feeling normal. It feels good.
Things are improving. And I am approving.
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| I approve of myself! |
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ReplyDeleteWhat you said about biking and still gaining weight - just yesterday my doctor and I were talking about that. He was very happy to hear that I was finally (FINALLY!) losing weight. We talked about exercise and he said that exercise is great, but it's not what makes us lose weight. If we don't get our eating under control we just won't lose (even if we exercise.) He's so right, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteI'm paying attention to the daily affirmations that you post. I enjoy reading your thoughts about them. I can relate. I bet a lot of our fellow one-year-plan bloggers can relate.
I reposted because apparently I forgot how to spell "exercise" the first time around!!
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